Archives

Let’s Talk About Love

Feb14

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  Today is the day when our thoughts turn to love.  Let’s talk about love, shall we?

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

As much as all the hopeless romantics out there (me included) want to believe it, there is no handsome prince or knight in shining armour “out there” who is going to make us happy, content, complete.  Jerry MacGuire is a lie and everytime I see the clip with Renee Zellweger chanting, “You complete me,” I want to reach out and slap her upside the head.  All these fairytale ideas of love do for us (men and women included), is impose pressure on our would-be suitors to be perfect, and to fill the bottomless pit of need that most of us carry around for most of our life’s journeys.  Because there is no person on the planet that is perfect or who can fill that emptiness inside, all we get is the on-going cycle of disappointment and resentment that eventually leads to the death of our relationships.  We are all the victims and the losers in this culture of co-dependency that we have so enthusiastically cultivated.

Understanding Love

Part of our culture’s problem with love is that we have somehow come to believe that love is a commodity.  We believe that love is something we can “give” to another and something we can “get” from another.  We have been taught that love is something we have to earn (because of our inherent unworthiness) and that there is a constant threat that love will be taken away.  And then we did something really unfortunate, and that was to project our conditional understanding of love onto God.  Now God’s love has to be earned and God’s love can be taken away….and it most likely will be because we are inherently bad because of that little party in the Garden with the serpent, the naked man and woman and that darn piece of fruit.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

As I see it, there is one cause and one remedy to our messed up understanding of love.  The cause is that place inside of us that says we aren’t worthy of love.  More directly, it is that place inside of us where we have forgotten that LOVE is our original nature…LOVE is who and what we are….is does not have to be earned, neither can it be taken away….it just is.  When we remember that LOVE is who we are, then we are happy, content, whole and complete within ourselves and we stop looking for that magic someone who will make us feel “all better.”  The question, however, is how do we remember that LOVE is who and what we are?  For those raised in the Judeo-Christian tradition, that journey sometimes begins by healing our images of God.  We have to undo the religious dogma that tells us that we have been banished from the Garden and that our life journey is now about earning back God’s fickle love.  We have to rediscover the God of Psalm 139 and the God of the story of the Prodigal Son – a God that loves us without condition….that welcomes us home with open arms, that accepts our unripeness and loves us for who we are.  As we come to know the love of God more fully, we can then begin the process of rediscovering the Love that we are that can only be found within.  And that Love, is found in sound spiritual practice – meditation, creative endeavors, body prayer, contemplation, reading and reflecting on scripture, mantra, chant, works of service and love.  As we cultivate a sound spiritual practice, we begin to connect with and rediscover the Love that we are ….the Love that lies deep within us in our hearts.  When we discover and cultivate this connection to the Love that dwells within…..then we KNOW the love that we are and we live that love freely and fully within the world.

How Love Transforms our Relationships

Now….here is where the magic really happens.  When we take the time to REMEMBER the LOVE that we Are….it changes how we approach our human call to partnership and intimacy.  Instead of looking outside of us for the person who will “complete” us, we draw to ourselves the person that ALSO remembers the love that they are.  Now we have two complete, content, happy individuals, who choose to come together to be the love that they are for one another and for the world.  We aren’t looking for that person to fill us.  Instead, we stand content side by side being the love that we are and being loving toward eachother because the love that we are flows naturally out of us.  No longer are we loving for the sake of manipulation….for approval or to get something back.  We love because it is who we are and all we can do.

Happy Valentine’s Day

So, this is my Valentine’s wish for all of us:

  • That we gift ourselves with the time and the tools to REMEMBER the LOVE that we are.
  • That we joyfully live that love in the world
  • And for those who are so-called, that they discover a healthy partnership rooted in the mutual love, honoring and respect that arises out of two individuals who have Remembered the Love that They Are…..

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Uniquely Gifted

Feb3

Each and every one of us is uniquely gifted to reveal God in the world.  Today’s blog explores spiritual charisms (gifts) and how they not only assist us in God’s purpose for our lives, but also serve as a source of inspiration for others.

Friends and Mentors

Wednesday morning I had brunch with a dear friend and mentor.  She is a person with whom I worked when I was still under the employ of the Institution of the Roman Catholic Church.  She served as my teacher, guide and mentor as I stumbled unwittingly into the role of Liturgist for our grieving community in exile.  She took me under her wing as I faced a position for which I was completely untrained and ill-prepared and during a time that I was grieving myself.  For her teaching, patience, compassion and friendship, I will always be grateful.  We worked together until it became clear to me that God was calling me in another direction.  My departure from official Church ministry could have and probably should have driven a wedge in our relationship, but it did not.  As a result, I have been given the profound gift of being able to witness true hospitality, generosity and to sit in humble awe over the unique way that God has gifted my friend.

The Unnamed Charism

A charism, as defined by the Catholic Church is a unique spiritual gift and the way that God works through us in bringing healing, love, compassion and justice into the world.  The Catholic Church has named roughly 28 charisms which include: healing, discernment of spirits, service, preaching, teaching, administration, evangelization.  Because of my relationship with my friend/mentor, and seeing this same gift in my father, I have identified another charism that is yet to be named.  I don’t know what to call it, but I am truly in awe over this gift because there is no way on God’s green earth that this gift will EVER be accessible to me.  In a nutshell, this as yet unnamed charism, provides one with the ability to stay present to a work or life situation that is less than ideal and might even come in conflict with what you know to be 100% right and true.  This charism has something to do with tolerance, acceptance of imperfection, patience and forgiveness and it is the kind of gift that might allow someone to remain an employee of an Institution or work with or for an individual that is everything BUT perfect.  My father has this gift, as does my friend.  And to both of them I bow in humble awe because no matter how hard I try or have tried, this ability eludes me!

The Curse of the Reformer

No matter how much I try to deny it or bargain away this gift, I am called to be a reformer.  As such, I see the world through the lens of “How can this be better?”  In particular, I see religion, church, especially Catholicism through this lens.  To the chagrin of many, I have no choice but to be a voice and a force for change in what we have come to know religion, church, etc. to be.  I see myself as creating and holding space for those that are looking to step into a future vision of church that is less about God as defined by some outside perceived authority and more about the God that wants to reveal itself to them in an intimate and personal way within their own hearts.  I also see this as a move from the “do it because we told you” faith of a child and the searching and discovering phase of adolescence and the adult phase of personal empowerment and determined mission.  Not everyone in the Church is ready to take these steps, and it is because of and for these folks that my friend has been duly gifted.  I see her as holding space for an Institution and its people who are struggling with the pain of transition…..knowing that change is afoot, but not wanting to let go of what they have known for something that has not yet been revealed.  While I’m the one disturbing the sh..t, she is the one that says, “It’s ok.  You are still safe.”

On a Personal Note

So, on a personal note, I bow in humble awe to my friend, my father and to anyone else who has been gifted with this charism.  I have great respect and wonder for your ability to hold space in the tension, to breathe through conflict, to have patience, acceptance and understanding for what is.  I can only hope to learn from you as I’m sitting here disturbing the sh…  :)

How are you uniquely gifted to reveal God in the world?

How are you aware of the unique giftedness of others?

Where do you see the way in which our mutual gifts complement each other?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Transformation through Pain

Feb1

Today’s blog explores the spiritual practice of presence – specifically how the simple act of being present to our pain can bring profound healing, growth and transformation.  In this case, “No pain, no gain” is a true statement.

 

Avoid the Pain

I recently had a really interesting experience where I found myself simply being observer to my journey, instead of my normal role of victim.  It was a situation where something very innocent was said to me  – something that in and of itself was harmless enough, but of course, my inner victim wanted to make it a threat, a source of danger, another incident where I got to be the victim and someone else the enemy.  It was so strange to watch, like a slow motion replay, how my inner self responded to this “innocent something.”  As the words left the other person’s lips, I clearly saw a daggar coming through the air and stabbing me in the heart.  I felt my being recoil in pain and then sink into the pit of martyrdom and depression.  I withdrew.  I became silent.  I shut down.  This chosen response remained until later in that same day when I suddenly decided that the “other” had to be the enemy.  I quickly made up in my mind all kinds of scenarios where I was convinced this person was bad, didn’t like me, was rejecting me and how I would decide to not like them in return.  Then I went into fear.  I went into that place in my mind where I make up stories about what my future needs to look like, might look like, is supposed to look like.  And then again, depression, rejection, anger and pain.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted from being battered about by my inner thought demons.  My typical response to this kind of reaction is to push away the pain, the hurt, the perceived rejection and I usually do this by harboring resentment, anger, rage.  I was surprised, however, to find that something else all together began to unfold.

Pull the Plank from your own eye…sister!

Instead of gathering around myself the cloak of protective anger and resentment, I found myself simply being present.  I let myself feel the hurt of perceived rejection.  I allowed myself to be present to the impatience and frustration of not having “my plans fulfilled.”  Instead, I simply sat with the question – what does this mean?  And when I allowed myself to be present to this question, several answers began to be revealed.  First I saw the “innocent words” and had to admit that I had entertained these thoughts myself on some level and that all they were doing were reflecting my own fears around the particular subject.  Then I saw the way that I cling to perceived surety, concrete plans, a “secure” and “predictable” future…..of my own making, of course.  Following the clinging, I saw my intuitive knowledge around this subject and the sudden fear, “What if I was wrong?”  Then I was acutely aware of two pretty big fears that I have struggled with for as long as I could remember:  ok….actually it was three fears:

  • The fear of rejection (of not being loved, accepted, understood, etc.)
  • The fear of not being right
  • The fear of not knowing my future (ie: the need for security, surety, concrete plans)

When I identified these three fears, something amazing began to happen.  Instead of running from these fears, pushing them away, ignoring them or bargaining with them, I decided to sit with these fears and see what happened.

Making Friends with our Fears

After turning the finger of blame that I was waving toward the innocent “other” back toward myself, I was able to identify the fears that caused me to hear a simply innocent comment as something potentially hurtful.  Instead of stomping away in anger or retreating into the dark coccoon of depression, I decided to sit with my fears.  Instead of pushing them away, bargaining with them or denying them, I allowed myself to be present.  I allowed myself to FEEL the fear of rejection.  I allowed myself to EXPERIENCE the fear of being wrong.  I sat with the little girl inside of me that wants everything to be safe, predictable, planned out and HER WAY.  And then, I breathed!  I breathed these fears into myself and allowed myself to be present to them.  Then here was the miracle…….they all went away.  I saw the fear of rejection evaporate into thin air.  I heard the voice of my truth reminding me of what I know to be true  for now.  And the little girl stopped clinging to the illusion of perceived surety while she sank into the arms of God and let God carry her to where she needed to be….trusting that all would be well.

How might you become more aware of your own defensive reactions to perceived hurts, etc.?

How do you run from or avoid the pain of loss, disappointment, not being in control, etc?

How might you be present to the pain and allow the possibility of healing and transformation?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

The Video That Changed My Life!

Jan19

In today’s blog, I share with you a tidbit of wisdom that I found by accident in a video….and this tidbit of wisdom, in one moment, has profoundly changed my life. 

Brene Brown http:://www.brenebrown.com

The Video

Before I even begin, here is a link to the video that in ONE SECOND profoundly changed my life:  http://www.mattmorris.com/general/motivational-monday-66/ .  This video is a talk given by Brene Brown, LMSW, research professor, author, motivational speaker and writer of the Ordinary Courage blog.  The video covers a range of topics, all centered on our need as humans for connection and what either allows or disallows us from getting this need met.  In a nutshell – worthiness.  This was the wisdom nugget that brought me to my knees and shattered all the illusions I had been carrying around within me about myself and my perception of the world.

I am Worthy of Love and Belonging

Through years of research, Brene has identified ONE quality that determines our ability as human beings to find and sustain healthy, intimate connections and to weather the challenges of the human condition.  The belief that she has identified is I am worthy of love and belonging. Those people who believe this, find, cultivate and sustain healthy, intimate connections, have a strong sense of inner courage and are able to weather the storms of the human condition.  Those who struggle, she found, do so because they do not believe that they are worthy of love and belonging.

Yada Yada Yada

So, what is Lauri Lumby, Spiritual Director, Author, Minister, Teacher, Healer, Mother, Friend doing spending time on this topic?  Of course I believe that I am worthy of love and belonging….right?  WRONG!!!!!    This was why Brene’s video brought me to my knees.  When she shared the results of her research, distilled into this tiny truth…..my heart broke open, I fell to the floor, and I started bawling.  I suddenly realized that no, I did not believe this truth.  I did not believe that I was worthy of love and I did not believe that I was worthy of belonging.  Then suddenly, with this tiny revelation, my entire life began to make sense – specifically, those aspects of my life with which I have struggled ….. things with which I have struggled for as far back as I could remember.

For Example

One thing I have learned is that there is a profound, yet subtle difference between knowing something and knowing something.  I have always known I was loved, worthy of love, worthy of belonging, worthy of a fruitful, happy, fulfilling life.  Turns out, however, that I only knew it.  I did not KNOW it.  As I listened to Brene’s talk, I realized that all of my struggles for healthy intimacy, a sense of belonging, for inner strength and courage, for inner contentment and for professional as well as financial success was rooted in the cold, hard fact that I thought I knew I was worthy of love, belonging, professional and financial success…..but I did not KNOW it.  Somewhere deep in my heart, I still felt undeserving of love, belonging, professional and financial success.  As such, I have struggled.  I have struggled so hard, in fact, that just yesterday, before viewing Brene’s video, I was relaying to a friend how damn tired I was from working so dang hard just to survive in the world and to eek out a meager existence for myself and my family.  Life, to me, has always felt like REALLY HARD work and now I believe that the reason it has felt like so much work is because I was in truth, working against myself.  I was working, working, working for fulfillment, healthy intimacy, belonging, professional and financial success while on some level, I didn’t really believe I was worthy of any of it.  So even if a tiny bit of success found its way into my life or I was shown a gesture of love or generosity, my response has always been a mixture of gratitude, with one hand up pushing it away because I did not really feel worthy.  I always thought this response was humility….not I know it was really me rejecting that which I didn’t believe I was worthy of receiving in the first place.  Holy Cow this was deep!

Now What?

So, now what do I do with this awareness?  In truth – nothing.  I felt my heart break open and I spilled tears of release and relief.  I believe that in that heart-rending moment, something in me was profoundly healed and transformed.  I now understand why my life has felt like such a struggle.  And now I really believe that I KNOW that I am worthy of love and belonging.  The rest will take care of itself.

Do you KNOW that you are worthy of love and belonging?

How might you be open to KNOWING this truth?

What in your life has been a struggle because you might not have known this truth?

How might your life begin to change if you were to KNOW this truth?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

What god Are You Serving?

Jan17

Today’s blog is in the form of a music video from one of my favorites:  Trent Reznor in his incarnation - Nine Inch Nails.  Click on the link below, then reflect on the questions that follow:

Head Like a Hole:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao-Sahfy7Hg&ob=av2e

(Here’s a link to the lyrics in case you need help:  http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nineinchnails/headlikeahole.html)

How much time and energy do you give to “god-money?”

What is the focus, center, pivot on which your life unfolds?  (money, acquisitions, status, power, love, joy, peace, fame, etc.?)

How are you being called to shift your attention from the external “gods” to the Source of love, peace and joy that resides within you?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Direct and To The Point

Jan11

Today’s blog says it all…..there is not much else we need to know about the Jesus message than this!

 

 Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the Gospel of God:

“This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand.

Repent, and believe in the Gospel.”

Mark 1: 15

Pretty much says it all.  The time of fulfillment is NOW!!!!!   The kingdom of God is NOW….right here in our midst, and it might even exist within us (not in some heaven light years away or in some galaxy far, far away, and only to be attained after we die.).  Return your focus (repent) on the Divine as the center of who you are and the center of your life.  And BELIEVE!

Where do you recognize the kingdom of God in your very midst, right here, right now?

How are you being invited to re-focus your gaze, your intention and your attention on the Divine Source that lives within, among and all around us?

What are the obstacles to you believing that the kingdom of God is NOW, and that it might even be housed WITHIN you?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Finding the Fulfillment of Love

Oct21

Today’s blog explores one spiritual practice that helps us to integrate the principles described in yesterday’s guest blog, and chapter six in my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming Contentment and Joy. 

 

Seeking Love

As we were reminded in yesterday’s blog by guest blogger, Swami Nithyananda, if we are seeking love in our lives, the first thing we need to acknowledge is that love is NOT something we can get from another person.  Love is not a commodity to be bought, sold, earned or denied.  Love is our very nature and therefore can only be found within ourselves.  If we seek to have loving relationships with others, we have to start by knowing the love within ourselves…only then can we be unconditionally loving toward ourselves and toward another.  When we know the love that we are, we resonate with the energy of that love and reflect it out into the world.   In doing so, others are reminded of their own loving nature and may also decide to seek to know the love with themselves.

 

Coming to Know this Love

The journey to knowing the love that we are has many possible paths.  For me, I have found knowing God through scripture, meditation, prayer, ritual, worship, service, contemplation, writing, being in nature and working with amazing teachers (including my therapist, spiritual director, family, friends, etc. ) have all been helpful and supportive vehicles for coming to know this love.  There is one tool, however, that I have found to be most helpful (for me anyway) and that is the practice of Bhakti Yoga.

 

Devotion to the Beloved

Bhakti yoga is the spiritual practice of intense devotion to “The Beloved.”  While this practice has been officially named as such by the Hindu and Yogic traditions of India, the practice of devotion has also been a big part of the Hebrew and Christian traditions.  In this practice, meditation, prayer, chant, and worship are focused and directed toward the Divine imagined as our lover and beloved.  In the Yogic tradition, the Divine might be imagined as Krishna, Radha, Shiva, Shakti, etc.  In the Hebrew tradition, we may direct our attention toward Adonai, Elohim, the Shekinah, YHWH.  In the Christian tradition, devotion is directed toward Jesus.  The specific tool that I have found to be most helpful in this practice of devotion is sacred chant or Kirtan.

Hare Krishna/Hare Christos/Hare Adonai

In Bhakti yoga, one of the primary tools of devotion to the beloved is chant or Kirtan (chant done in a call and response format).  Chanting the names of the beloved is said to change our own vibration to more closely reflect the love of the Divine and to bring us into resonance with the love that is our truest nature.  In chanting the sacred names, we are healed, transformed, brought into harmony with the Divine in love, peace and joy.  The Hare Krishna chants, those to Rama, Radha, Sita, etc. all work toward this end.  The exciting thing is that in the Hindu and Yogic traditions, these names are universal…meaning that they all reflect aspects of THE ONE GOD and therefore transcend belief, dogma, doctrine or denomination.  I have embraced this practice, holding my personal guru (Jesus) in my mind while chanting these sacred names and have experienced great benefit from this practice.  I find that chanting the sacred names helps me to calm my monkey mind and to find the peaceful calm within that I had previously found to be elusive and nearly impossible to attain.  Additionally, I have found that I have come to know more deeply the love within that is more reflective of my truest nature.  I have found that life flows more freely and effortlessly.  I know more freedom and joy and my external relationships more closely reflect a deep and abiding love.

 

Getting Started

So, here is a little You Tube clip of George Harrison engaged in his own practice of Bhakti- devotion to the beloved….and a great way to get started on your own path to finding the fulfillment of love:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7eFQMakhDE

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Real Love – Guest Blogger

Oct20

Today’s blog saw submitted by a devotee of the Indian swami, Nithyananda.  I loved the words of this blog and found them to completely resonate with what I had written in Authentic Freedom regarding love.  Thank you to Swami Nithyananda for spreading the message of peace, love and joy in the world and for providing tools through which we can find those qualities within ourselves.  Here is the post:

What is real love?

 

 Real love is something so deep, so energizing, that you will not know it unless you experience it. Love is an expression of energy, not something that is transacted. Tell me one thing: can you love people when you meet them for the first time?  (From the audience: No Swamiji! We don’t even know them, then how can we love them?)

 

Exactly! This is what you think. Let me tell you, with a little bit of intellectual understanding and meditation, you will realize that you can love anyone without a reason, causelessly! You can love the trees on the road, you can caress them and feel the energy flow from you. You can love people whom you pass by on the road without even knowing them. Love is actually your very being, not a distilled quality that you possess.

 

Nothing is as misconstrued as love is today. Today, love is more of a transaction. If someone says something nice to you, you love him; tomorrow if the same person falls short of it, you don’t love him that much or you probably hate him.

 

Even your lifelong friend, with whom you chat everyday on the computer, will seem suddenly not-so-close if he says something that goes against your approval. Where is your love at this time? It has suffered temporarily!

 

It is just games that you play; a game in which love and hate surface alternately and interchangeably. And this love-hate relationship is not love at all. Be very clear. It is simply your reaction to a person or a situation, that’s all. This is what we call love. This is not real love. It is subjective love, that’s all.

 

Real love knows no object. It is simply there whether there is an object or not. Real love is the subject itself. It does not know any object. You are the subject and you have become love, that’s all. Any object that comes in touch with it, feels it. Just like a river flows naturally and people enjoy it at the different places that they encounter it, real love exudes from a person and the people around him will be able to feel it.

 

There is absolutely no room for conditioning in real love. The energy in you should overflow and express itself as love. It is then that you can break through the highly knotted boundaries of relationships and express yourself beautifully, as a loving being!

 

In order to discover the quality of your being, that is love, two things can be done. The first thing: repeatedly listen to words like these so that they create a conviction in you about real love; so that a space is created in you for the process of transformation. Second thing: meditate so that the transformation can actually happen.

 

In practical life, when you go deeper and deeper into relationships, you will understand that all that you feel is not real love, but just some form of give and take. It is all just adjustment, some compromise, some duty-bound feelings, some fear, some guilt. It is all there in the name of love.

 

Meditation will take you beyond these mis-understandings of love. Meditation will work at the being level. That is why it is a shortcut! When you have to go through life and know it by yourself, it will take you a lifetime. But with meditation, a space opens inside you to experience these things clearly for yourself, whatever your age may be.

 

Just understand this one thing: when you are able to love without a reason, you will expand like anything. Your world will suddenly seem larger than life. It will be so ecstatic. You will become an energy source to yourself and to others. You will be so overflowing that the energy in you has to touch others. There is no other way. Others will be naturally drawn to you.  Buy the book: Read more: Discover True Love by Paramahamsa Nithyananda

 

Author Bio:  Paramahamsa Nithyananda is an Enlightened master from India and his teachings open up the tremendous possibilities for enlightened living.   So simple and pragmatic are Paramahamsa Nithyananda’s teachings that anyone, whether men, women or children, irrespective of their social, cultural or religious background, can use these teachings as practical manuals for enlightened living in their chosen path of life.  Nithyananda is currently ranked the No.1 spiritual guru on YouTube, and the author of over 200 books in 28 global languages.  

Social Networking Sites

Facebook Page: www.Facebook.com/eNithyananda

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/ePNithyananda

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/paramahamsa

 

Author/Publisher: Sites

Author’s Website: http://www.nithyananda.org/founder/who-is-nithyananda

Author’s Blog: http://enithyananda.wordpress.com/

Publishers: www.eNPublishers.com

 

Buy Links: Amazon kindle|BARNES&NOBEL|Apple iBooks Store|

Making Meditation Easy

Oct5

Why do we in the West make things so dang difficult?  Meditation is not nearly as challenging as our Western teachers would have us believe.  Let’s take another look at meditation and how to make it approachable, accessible and EASY for everyone!

How the Western influence tainted meditation

Why do we make things so dang difficult?  Meditation is supposed to be a life-giving, peace-generating, love-producing practice.  Instead, do you know what we have done?  We have made it into an unattainable goal and worse yet….we have made it work!  Come on already, don’t we already work hard enough?  Meditation is supposed to be a break from work, and not only a re-treat…but a treat for ourselves.  So to begin with, let’s strip away some of the ways that the Western influence and perspective has tainted meditation and bring it back to what it is supposed to be….EASY and WONDERFUL!

Stripping Away Western Trapping

Here are the things we Westerners have added to meditation and in doing so, wrecked it for everyone:

  • A goal.  Somewhere in the Western interpretation, we have added goals to the process of meditation.  The goal is 30 minutes, two times a day (or something like that) and the other goal is the desired outcome….which leads me to number 2
  • A desired outcome. Somehow, somewhere, we decided that the desired outcome of meditation is something like: silence, bliss, peace, ecstasy.  Peshaw!!!!!!   This leads me to number 3
  • Judgment We set a goal, we expect and outcome and if we don’t get #1 or #2 above, we judge our experience as “We did it wrong…we didn’t do it enough, long enough, hard enough, etc. etc. etc.”   Which then leads to number 4
  • The Perfect Formula  Then someone decided there must be a perfect formula, perfect outfit, perfect meditation cushion, perfect incense, perfect candle, perfect mala beads, etc.  Now meditation has suddenly become about the formula or the stuff….and if we don’t have one or all of the above, then we have FAILED.
  • Judgment  Which leads us back to judgment.

 

Setting the Record Straight

Now, let’s set the record straight.

  • The goal in meditation is NO GOAL!  The only goal is to SHOW UP and DO IT.  This is why it is called PRACTICE!
  • There is NO desired outcome.  As my children’s kindergarten teacher said, “You get what you get, so don’t have a fit.”  This is equally true for meditation.  You get what you get….just because….not because you did it right or wrong or anything else….if you get a barrage of thoughts…then so be it.  If you got peace…yay….but that doesn’t mean you did it right today and wrong yesterday.  You just get what you get.  PERIOD
  • NO JUDGMENT in meditation.  You show up.  You practice.  That is it!  There is no right way, wrong way, enough way.  You just show up and BE…no judgment, no censoring, no second-guessing.  JUST BE.
  • NO PERFECT – And there is certainly no perfect formula, no “right” number of times, correct mantra, right outfit.  Meditation is as intimate,personal and unique as a snowflake.  What works for you might not work for another and what worked today might not work tomorrow.
  • NO JUDGMENT….this one bears repeating!

 

Making Meditation Easy

So….here is a simply formula for meditation and one that may (or may not) work for you…..but you could at least try it and see what happens and in the end, know that at least you showed up and practiced…which is ultimately all you are expected to do.

1) Place – Find a place in your home (or office or outside) that is comfortable and somewhat free of distractions (this part will later become unnecessary….but it is a good place to start) and sit there.

2) Transition Tool – Find a tool that can help ease you into your practice, something that helps to calm your mind – music, a mantra, a chant, movement (yoga, tai chi, dance, running, etc.), reading scripture (or some other inspirational wisdom source).

3) SIT – that’s it….just sit. Be.  Be quiet.  Do nothing.  Expect nothing.  JUST BE.

4)Distractions – WILL COME.  Thoughts, ideas, to-do lists, obsessive thoughts, itineraries, etc. etc. etc.  JUST WATCH them.  Observe them. Acknowledge them.  Say “Hi” I see you.  THEN….let them be.  As my Zen friends say, “look at your thoughts like a cloud floating on by.”  Then, sit some more.

That is it.  Meditation is JUST THAT Simple!  Just be.  Sit.  Be quiet.  And let the rest of it just happen.  No attachment. No judgment.  No “right” or “wrong.”  Let the Western model of work, goals, right, wrong, agendas, etc. go….and just be.  And somewhere in the being…you just might find PEACE.   And if you don’t, that is ok too….at least you showed up for practice!

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

God will be the Death of Me!

Oct1

I share today’s blog as a way of illustrating the beginning stages of spiritual discernment – learning to recognize the Divine call in action and learning how to discern the path of our highest good.  While this discernment is nowhere near complete for me, I thought it of value to share the beginning stages for those who may be faced with similar life-direction questions.

The Wake up Call

The other day I’m paying bills and when I look at the respective balances in my savings and checking accounts, my heart dropped to the floor and a feeling of panic filled my body.  Immediately, I went to the fear,  “Dang it! Do I need to go out and get a “real” job?”  I spent the next several hours contemplating all the places that might hire a 18 year veteran of ministry.  How do you transfer ministry skills (spiritual direction, hands-on healing, etc.) to a real job….and could I even find something over minimum wage?  Then I felt the tell-tale shut-down of overwhelm and despair and took a nap.  ARGH!  After my nap, I realized that I had fallen right into my own trap….I had indulged in fear.  Isn’t this the very thing I teach my students and clients NOT to do.  Teacher – back to the drawing board with you!  So, I went directly to the only place I know to find persistent and reliable peace, clarity and comfort…..and that is GOD.

Pray Pray Pray

So, since the bill-paying day, I have been praying my head off.  I have placed the questions before God: What am I supposed to do?  Do you want me to get a “real” job?  Give me direction.  Give me clarity.  And in between my begging and pleading, I have been taking time to journal, meditate, chant, practice yoga.  I know that the answer to the question is not in my little pea brain because if I go there, I will end up choosing something out of fear or panic or desperation.  And, I know that God’s way is always better – more in line with what is in my highest good, somehow involving my gifts and somehow in service to others.  I also know and have seen that God’s plan is always WAY better than what I could have come up with on my own…and that God’s plan leads to fulfillment, freedom, peace, joy.  I also realized in the midst of my prayer that the “wake up” ultimately has NOTHING to do with money and EVERYTHING to do with God inviting me to greater expansion.  I’m just not sure how much more expansion I can take!

A possible answer……and God will be the death of me!

Yesterday I’m at yoga practice and as our teacher invited, I had stated an intention in my heart as we began practice.  My intention:  clarity and direction.  Well….I got WAY more than I bargained for.  I am not yet able to share what showed up for me in practice as I have not yet tested it under the scrutiny of spiritual discernment (determining what is “of God” as opposed to what might be coming from my false-self or ego.) and I will not be making any decisions around what was revealed until sound discernment is accomplished and I am DARN SURE that this is coming from God and not from some other less benevolent place.  What I will say is that what showed up is something that has come back around in my journey of discernment….over and over and over and over….and it is something that I have resisted, then tried in various degrees and various incarnations and ALWAYS met with failure.  So why the heck is this what is showing up yet AGAIN!!!???    And, if it proves to be an authentic call and something that is coming from God……it will REALLY tick me off!  And just so everyone knows that it is ok to initially say “no” to God (if this is coming from God) and that we do still have free will……this was exactly my initial response to the possibility of this “guidance and direction.”  NO NO NO  No Way.  No How.  You must be out of your dang mind!  God, you will be the death of me if this is really what you want me to do.  I’ve already done this WAY too many times….and it has always failed?  Why would this be any different?  I don’t want to do this!  Why can’t you give someone else the hard jobs for once?  NO NO NO NO NO!

Then God Laughed at Me

So, here I am shaking my fist at God, telling God there is no way I am doing this if this is what God wants me to do.  Then God laughed at me and showed me the mantras I had been praying in my head as I was practicing yoga while waiting for clarity and guidance, Let it be done to me according to your word.  Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed.    And then God showed me how (assuming this is authentically from God) this time would be different from the rest and why it might just work.  Doh!  For the record, my answer is still no….at least until I’m really sure this is from God, but in the end, I know that if my discernement proves that this is authentically where God is calling me, I know better than to say “no” because whether I want to do it or not, I know that if it is from God, it will be for not only my highest good but will be life-giving, nourishing and supportive to others and that if I do say “no” that God will hound me until I relent and say “yes” because as I have learned (the hard way)  GOD IS A NAG!  And in this….God just might be the death of me!

How might the things in your own life that stimulate fear be God inviting you to greater expansion, something more life-giving, healing or release?

What tools do you use to find comfort and clarity through times of fear?

How do you discern if “guidance” is of God as opposed to coming out of your own ego, fears, false perceptions or attachments?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com