Tag Archive | love

The Video That Changed My Life!

Jan19

In today’s blog, I share with you a tidbit of wisdom that I found by accident in a video….and this tidbit of wisdom, in one moment, has profoundly changed my life. 

Brene Brown http:://www.brenebrown.com

The Video

Before I even begin, here is a link to the video that in ONE SECOND profoundly changed my life:  http://www.mattmorris.com/general/motivational-monday-66/ .  This video is a talk given by Brene Brown, LMSW, research professor, author, motivational speaker and writer of the Ordinary Courage blog.  The video covers a range of topics, all centered on our need as humans for connection and what either allows or disallows us from getting this need met.  In a nutshell – worthiness.  This was the wisdom nugget that brought me to my knees and shattered all the illusions I had been carrying around within me about myself and my perception of the world.

I am Worthy of Love and Belonging

Through years of research, Brene has identified ONE quality that determines our ability as human beings to find and sustain healthy, intimate connections and to weather the challenges of the human condition.  The belief that she has identified is I am worthy of love and belonging. Those people who believe this, find, cultivate and sustain healthy, intimate connections, have a strong sense of inner courage and are able to weather the storms of the human condition.  Those who struggle, she found, do so because they do not believe that they are worthy of love and belonging.

Yada Yada Yada

So, what is Lauri Lumby, Spiritual Director, Author, Minister, Teacher, Healer, Mother, Friend doing spending time on this topic?  Of course I believe that I am worthy of love and belonging….right?  WRONG!!!!!    This was why Brene’s video brought me to my knees.  When she shared the results of her research, distilled into this tiny truth…..my heart broke open, I fell to the floor, and I started bawling.  I suddenly realized that no, I did not believe this truth.  I did not believe that I was worthy of love and I did not believe that I was worthy of belonging.  Then suddenly, with this tiny revelation, my entire life began to make sense – specifically, those aspects of my life with which I have struggled ….. things with which I have struggled for as far back as I could remember.

For Example

One thing I have learned is that there is a profound, yet subtle difference between knowing something and knowing something.  I have always known I was loved, worthy of love, worthy of belonging, worthy of a fruitful, happy, fulfilling life.  Turns out, however, that I only knew it.  I did not KNOW it.  As I listened to Brene’s talk, I realized that all of my struggles for healthy intimacy, a sense of belonging, for inner strength and courage, for inner contentment and for professional as well as financial success was rooted in the cold, hard fact that I thought I knew I was worthy of love, belonging, professional and financial success…..but I did not KNOW it.  Somewhere deep in my heart, I still felt undeserving of love, belonging, professional and financial success.  As such, I have struggled.  I have struggled so hard, in fact, that just yesterday, before viewing Brene’s video, I was relaying to a friend how damn tired I was from working so dang hard just to survive in the world and to eek out a meager existence for myself and my family.  Life, to me, has always felt like REALLY HARD work and now I believe that the reason it has felt like so much work is because I was in truth, working against myself.  I was working, working, working for fulfillment, healthy intimacy, belonging, professional and financial success while on some level, I didn’t really believe I was worthy of any of it.  So even if a tiny bit of success found its way into my life or I was shown a gesture of love or generosity, my response has always been a mixture of gratitude, with one hand up pushing it away because I did not really feel worthy.  I always thought this response was humility….not I know it was really me rejecting that which I didn’t believe I was worthy of receiving in the first place.  Holy Cow this was deep!

Now What?

So, now what do I do with this awareness?  In truth – nothing.  I felt my heart break open and I spilled tears of release and relief.  I believe that in that heart-rending moment, something in me was profoundly healed and transformed.  I now understand why my life has felt like such a struggle.  And now I really believe that I KNOW that I am worthy of love and belonging.  The rest will take care of itself.

Do you KNOW that you are worthy of love and belonging?

How might you be open to KNOWING this truth?

What in your life has been a struggle because you might not have known this truth?

How might your life begin to change if you were to KNOW this truth?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Finding our Purpose and Sharing it

Nov24

The common search of the human experience is the search for meaning and purpose.  Why am I here?  What am I supposed to do?  We are driven through restlessness and discontent to seek the answers to these questions until we find them.  Once we find the answer to these questions, we have no choice but to share it.   So….here goes!

 

A Thorn in Your Side

For as long as I can consciously remember, I have been searching.  Troubled by the suffering of the human condition, and confused by the ways in which humans keep waging war, injustice, poverty, etc. I was compelled to ask the difficult questions and urged to want to do something about it.  This search has caused me to be a thorn in the side of parents, educators, religious authorities, employers, friends and even myself.   ”Why can’t you just put up and shut up,” seemed to be the collective response to all my seeking.  Alas, no matter how I tried to just be content with what is, I found I could not.  So, I kept seeking.  Along the way, I thought I had found my purpose – first to just make money in corporate America, then to lead people to God, then to reform the Catholic Church, then to write a best-selling spiritual self-help book.   Ha….none of these “purposes” proved to be quite right.  But I kept searching.  Then last week, I was hit between the eyes with a vision that showed me in the simplest words why I was put on this ball of mud in the first place.  And it could not be any simpler.

 

Finding Purpose

So, the words that were spoken to me in vision and in the silence of my heart:

“Lauri, you are here to help people remember the love that they are.”

Wow….it could not be any simpler than that!  These words encompass my greatest desire, my highest hopes for humanity and enfold and embrace all the work I have done in the past 46+ years on this planet.  This is all I have ever wanted….for each and every human being to know they are love and to act accordingly.  PERIOD!

 Sharing it

So, on this day that we set aside for giving Thanks…..here is my prayer for you.  My hope, my dream, my desire, my prayer for you is that you REMEMBER that you are love.  That you KNOW that you are love.  And that you know this love so profoundly that you have no choice but to live that out in the world….and in doing so, that you are reminding others of the love that they are.

 

The Truth We Used to Know

And here’s the funny thing about this wish.  Each and every one of us were born into the world KNOWING this truth.  We knew that we were love and could do nothing but reflect that love out into the world.  But then something happened.  Somehow that love got taught out of us – starting with the trauma of birth, then through unwitting parents who had forgotten their own love, then through teachers, other human beings, religious authorities, the world in general, we forgot this love.  But, no matter how bad our childhoods might have been, we never totally forgot this love….it shined like a sparkling star somewhere deep in our heart calling out to us, “Remember…Remember”.  This sparkling star is what sends us on this search in the first place – through restlessness and discontent, through questioning and seeking, we are compelled to find, reclaim and remember this love.  So, I am here to remind you….YOU ARE LOVE……you never stopped being love and nobody can take that love away from you….NO EVEN GOD!  So, if you don’t yet remember this love….KEEP SEEKING…..Ask the difficult questions, grieve the losses and disappointments, allow your broken heart to be healed, be loving toward yourself, treat yourself as you are love and sooner or later, you will start to remember….and when you do MIRACLES will start to happen!  I promise!

Happy Thanksgiving

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Love or Fear? The Choice is Yours

Nov4

Today’s blog is inspired by a series of events and experiences that I have observed and confirmed by the following article on the coming of “the Age of Aquarius”  http://www.3ho.org/ecommunity/2011/09/the-aquarian-shift-what-will-be-different-about-our-world-after-november-11-2011/.  Whether you believe in the idea of a galactic shift or not, we are each given, in every moment of every day the opportunity to choose our life. Do we choose love and truth or fear?  The choice is ours….and the time to choose is NOW!

Mystic Crystal Revelations

Every single spiritual master that has graced this fair planet (Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, The Buddha, The Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, St. Francis, Osho, Swami Rama, Yogananda, etc. etc. etc. ) attained the same understanding:  “All we need is love.”  Then they went out to share this truth with the world.  These teachers acknowledged THE common longing among human beings….and that is the longing to know love and to know peace.  Fear, they knew was the obstacle to knowing peace and love, and they shared with their students (and the rest of the world with them) specific tools for healing and releasing fear so that all could know the joyful contentment they had come to know within themselves.

And the Minds True Liberation

The key to knowing the love and the peace known by these spiritual masters is CHOICE!  And it is a matter of CHOICE.  Because of the nature of the human condition, peace and love are not likely to show up on their own.  Yes, we have fleeting glimpses of the love and the peace that we are, without ever picking up a spiritual text or engaging in a spiritual practice.  If, however, we want peace and love that will endure and if we want to more forward in our human journey in spite of the reality of fear, then we have to CHOOSE peace and love.  It is in choosing love over fear, truth over ego, peace over anxiety, joy over despair that we are liberated from the bondage of the human condition.  We find freedom when we choose love.  We find expansiveness when we know joy.  We find contentment when we cultivate peace.

Then Peace Will Guide the Planets and Love Will Steer the Stars

According to those that follow the science of astrology, November 11, 2011 marks the beginning of “The Age of Aquarius.”  Whether or not we believe in the “prophecies” about the significance of this planetary line up, one message is clear and it is clear for all of eternity……the time to choose is NOW.  If you want love, peace, joy, harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding, no more falsehood or derision…..CHOOSE IT!  Stop allowing fear to run your life.  Choose love.  Choose peace.  Choose joy.  And support that choice through sound spiritual practice.  And if you need additional support, read my book :)   Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy!

Hippie Prophets

The song, “The Age of Aquarius” by the Fifth Dimension is the very first song I ever remember hearing as a child and THE song that touched me in a deeply impactful and significant way.  When I first heard the song….I believed it.  I knew this was where we were being led as human beings and I knew that we would see the words of that song manifest in our lifetimes.  For whatever reason, this song has become the guiding principle of my life and I truly believe that the Divine was speaking to me in some way through this song.  So….without further ado:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0G8XJNz4bY  Let the Sunshine in!

What are the fears that stand as obstacles to your own inner peace?

How can you begin to choose love, peace, joy, instead of fear?

What spiritual practices or inspirational texts help you to stay grounded in peace and love?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Hope Walks In

Nov2

Today’s blog asks the question, “Where do we find hope?”

Brothers and sisters:

Hope does not disappoint, 

because the love of God

has been poured out into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

Romans: 5:5

Where is the Hope?

As any human being who is honest with themselves and the rest of the world will admit…..the human condition sucks!  We suffer disappointment, loss, death, disease, war, pestilence, hunger, homelessness, broken hearts and broken dreams.  In the face of all these challenges, we are tempted to believe, “Life sucks, and then you die.”  If this is true, why did we agree to this human experience in the first place and why do we stay here to endure sure suffering and pain?  In a word – HOPE! 

Planted in our Hearts

Whether we simply believe in the resilience of human nature or in the idea of a benevolent Creator/God…..there is something within us that keeps us going in spite of the sure suffering and pain of the human condition.  Paul, in his letter to the Romans, called that “something” HOPE.  Hope is the thing that keeps us moving in the midst of tragedy.  Hope is what keeps us alive in the face of death.  Hope is what keeps us believing in a better day, life, existence.  Hope, as Paul describes, is God’s love, planted in our heart, driving us, compelling us, fueling us, moving us.  Hope allows us to dream beyond the pain and imagine better things, better days, better dreams.  Hope opens our eyes to see beyond the veil of suffering to the hidden glory – the new life in the midst of death, the new possibilities beyond perceived failure, the new love beyond betrayal.  Hope allows us to see beyond the limitations of our human eyes to see with the eyes of the Divine.

Claiming Hope as Our Own

But where do we find this hope when we feel that all is lost?  The answer – WITHIN.  As Paul reminds, hope is found in our hearts in our intimate connection with that which we might call God.  And the way to get there?  (Have I beat this horse dead yet?)  PRAYER…  MEDITATION… SPIRITUAL PRACTICE…CREATIVE ENDEAVORS…LOVING CONNECTIONS WITH OTHERS…   To find the hope we think we have lost, we need only return to that which is closest to us….our inner selves, God, love.  So when you feel beat down by the human condition, when you feel disappointed, despairing, alone……GO WITHIN.  Pray.  Meditate.  Paint.  Draw.  Write.  Cook.  Practice Yoga. Sing. Dance.  Spend time with someone you love.  This is where you will rediscover that spark of hope that will keep you moving and help you see the light in the midst of the darkness.

What are the practices that have helped you rediscover hope?

How do you make it through the struggles of the human condition?

How do you know the God in your heart?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Finding the Fulfillment of Love

Oct21

Today’s blog explores one spiritual practice that helps us to integrate the principles described in yesterday’s guest blog, and chapter six in my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming Contentment and Joy. 

 

Seeking Love

As we were reminded in yesterday’s blog by guest blogger, Swami Nithyananda, if we are seeking love in our lives, the first thing we need to acknowledge is that love is NOT something we can get from another person.  Love is not a commodity to be bought, sold, earned or denied.  Love is our very nature and therefore can only be found within ourselves.  If we seek to have loving relationships with others, we have to start by knowing the love within ourselves…only then can we be unconditionally loving toward ourselves and toward another.  When we know the love that we are, we resonate with the energy of that love and reflect it out into the world.   In doing so, others are reminded of their own loving nature and may also decide to seek to know the love with themselves.

 

Coming to Know this Love

The journey to knowing the love that we are has many possible paths.  For me, I have found knowing God through scripture, meditation, prayer, ritual, worship, service, contemplation, writing, being in nature and working with amazing teachers (including my therapist, spiritual director, family, friends, etc. ) have all been helpful and supportive vehicles for coming to know this love.  There is one tool, however, that I have found to be most helpful (for me anyway) and that is the practice of Bhakti Yoga.

 

Devotion to the Beloved

Bhakti yoga is the spiritual practice of intense devotion to “The Beloved.”  While this practice has been officially named as such by the Hindu and Yogic traditions of India, the practice of devotion has also been a big part of the Hebrew and Christian traditions.  In this practice, meditation, prayer, chant, and worship are focused and directed toward the Divine imagined as our lover and beloved.  In the Yogic tradition, the Divine might be imagined as Krishna, Radha, Shiva, Shakti, etc.  In the Hebrew tradition, we may direct our attention toward Adonai, Elohim, the Shekinah, YHWH.  In the Christian tradition, devotion is directed toward Jesus.  The specific tool that I have found to be most helpful in this practice of devotion is sacred chant or Kirtan.

Hare Krishna/Hare Christos/Hare Adonai

In Bhakti yoga, one of the primary tools of devotion to the beloved is chant or Kirtan (chant done in a call and response format).  Chanting the names of the beloved is said to change our own vibration to more closely reflect the love of the Divine and to bring us into resonance with the love that is our truest nature.  In chanting the sacred names, we are healed, transformed, brought into harmony with the Divine in love, peace and joy.  The Hare Krishna chants, those to Rama, Radha, Sita, etc. all work toward this end.  The exciting thing is that in the Hindu and Yogic traditions, these names are universal…meaning that they all reflect aspects of THE ONE GOD and therefore transcend belief, dogma, doctrine or denomination.  I have embraced this practice, holding my personal guru (Jesus) in my mind while chanting these sacred names and have experienced great benefit from this practice.  I find that chanting the sacred names helps me to calm my monkey mind and to find the peaceful calm within that I had previously found to be elusive and nearly impossible to attain.  Additionally, I have found that I have come to know more deeply the love within that is more reflective of my truest nature.  I have found that life flows more freely and effortlessly.  I know more freedom and joy and my external relationships more closely reflect a deep and abiding love.

 

Getting Started

So, here is a little You Tube clip of George Harrison engaged in his own practice of Bhakti- devotion to the beloved….and a great way to get started on your own path to finding the fulfillment of love:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7eFQMakhDE

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Real Love – Guest Blogger

Oct20

Today’s blog saw submitted by a devotee of the Indian swami, Nithyananda.  I loved the words of this blog and found them to completely resonate with what I had written in Authentic Freedom regarding love.  Thank you to Swami Nithyananda for spreading the message of peace, love and joy in the world and for providing tools through which we can find those qualities within ourselves.  Here is the post:

What is real love?

 

 Real love is something so deep, so energizing, that you will not know it unless you experience it. Love is an expression of energy, not something that is transacted. Tell me one thing: can you love people when you meet them for the first time?  (From the audience: No Swamiji! We don’t even know them, then how can we love them?)

 

Exactly! This is what you think. Let me tell you, with a little bit of intellectual understanding and meditation, you will realize that you can love anyone without a reason, causelessly! You can love the trees on the road, you can caress them and feel the energy flow from you. You can love people whom you pass by on the road without even knowing them. Love is actually your very being, not a distilled quality that you possess.

 

Nothing is as misconstrued as love is today. Today, love is more of a transaction. If someone says something nice to you, you love him; tomorrow if the same person falls short of it, you don’t love him that much or you probably hate him.

 

Even your lifelong friend, with whom you chat everyday on the computer, will seem suddenly not-so-close if he says something that goes against your approval. Where is your love at this time? It has suffered temporarily!

 

It is just games that you play; a game in which love and hate surface alternately and interchangeably. And this love-hate relationship is not love at all. Be very clear. It is simply your reaction to a person or a situation, that’s all. This is what we call love. This is not real love. It is subjective love, that’s all.

 

Real love knows no object. It is simply there whether there is an object or not. Real love is the subject itself. It does not know any object. You are the subject and you have become love, that’s all. Any object that comes in touch with it, feels it. Just like a river flows naturally and people enjoy it at the different places that they encounter it, real love exudes from a person and the people around him will be able to feel it.

 

There is absolutely no room for conditioning in real love. The energy in you should overflow and express itself as love. It is then that you can break through the highly knotted boundaries of relationships and express yourself beautifully, as a loving being!

 

In order to discover the quality of your being, that is love, two things can be done. The first thing: repeatedly listen to words like these so that they create a conviction in you about real love; so that a space is created in you for the process of transformation. Second thing: meditate so that the transformation can actually happen.

 

In practical life, when you go deeper and deeper into relationships, you will understand that all that you feel is not real love, but just some form of give and take. It is all just adjustment, some compromise, some duty-bound feelings, some fear, some guilt. It is all there in the name of love.

 

Meditation will take you beyond these mis-understandings of love. Meditation will work at the being level. That is why it is a shortcut! When you have to go through life and know it by yourself, it will take you a lifetime. But with meditation, a space opens inside you to experience these things clearly for yourself, whatever your age may be.

 

Just understand this one thing: when you are able to love without a reason, you will expand like anything. Your world will suddenly seem larger than life. It will be so ecstatic. You will become an energy source to yourself and to others. You will be so overflowing that the energy in you has to touch others. There is no other way. Others will be naturally drawn to you.  Buy the book: Read more: Discover True Love by Paramahamsa Nithyananda

 

Author Bio:  Paramahamsa Nithyananda is an Enlightened master from India and his teachings open up the tremendous possibilities for enlightened living.   So simple and pragmatic are Paramahamsa Nithyananda’s teachings that anyone, whether men, women or children, irrespective of their social, cultural or religious background, can use these teachings as practical manuals for enlightened living in their chosen path of life.  Nithyananda is currently ranked the No.1 spiritual guru on YouTube, and the author of over 200 books in 28 global languages.  

Social Networking Sites

Facebook Page: www.Facebook.com/eNithyananda

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/ePNithyananda

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/paramahamsa

 

Author/Publisher: Sites

Author’s Website: http://www.nithyananda.org/founder/who-is-nithyananda

Author’s Blog: http://enithyananda.wordpress.com/

Publishers: www.eNPublishers.com

 

Buy Links: Amazon kindle|BARNES&NOBEL|Apple iBooks Store|

The Figure Eight of Forgiveness

Sep26

As we grow along the spiritual path, we realize how critical is the process of forgiveness to this journey.  Today’s blog explores the topic of forgiveness and how it looks a lot like a Figure 8 or an infinity symbol…depending on your perspective. 

Sometimes our Relationships Get Broken

I know I’m not telling you something you don’t already know.  Human relationships are challenging at best, and in our own state of brokenness and perceived separation, we often find our intimate and not-so-intimate relationships breaking down.  In these states of breaking down or breaking up of relationships, forgiveness shows up as the virtue that we are invited to embrace in the goal of bringing healing to these broken intimacies.  And, as you are well aware, the journey toward forgiveness can be long and arduous and mysterious at best.  Being the “Queen of Grudgeholding,” I certainly have no room to even begin to speak on this topic, but I will attempt to muddle through this in the hopes that I might actually learn something!

How Things Get Broken in the First Place

Well, this is a big duh!  How do our relationships get broken?  Because….someone got hurt.  Out of our own sense of separation and woundedness, we say and do things that hurt another person, and we act in ways that are non-loving, covetous, greedy, controlling, gluttonous, lazy and selfish.  We fail to listen to the people in our lives and to acknowledge their needs.  We fail to listen to ourselves, to our own needs and to ask for them to be met.  We lash out when we are afraid, anxious, scared.  We respond to others out of our own unhealed wounds and we project our past painful experiences onto others.  In a nutshell….WE ARE A MESS…..and we SUCK at being healthy, loving, intimate partners, collegues, friends and family members.  And….no matter how much inner work we have done or continue to do, it is our intimate human relationships that cause us the most trouble.  This is why FORGIVENESS is so important, critical and necessary.  Without forgiveness, I think we would just kill eachother off and be done with it (which I sometimes think we are doing as a species anyway).

The Signposts on the Forgiveness Path

Again, being the “Queen of Grudgeholding,” I’m not sure I really have anything to offer on this topic….but there are a few things I have seen that have helped me in the few and rare moments that I have tried to enter into the process of forgiveness.

1) When we perceive that someone has hurt us, or failed to honor one of our needs, we feel deeply hurt, and in immediate defense of that hurt and loss, RESENTMENT arises.

2) If you are like me, you rush toward that RESENTMENT, scoop it up, bring it  into your heart and caress, nurture, cultivate it like Gollum and the ring, chanting and moaning, “MY PRECIOUS,” harboring it close, and making it grow so as to protect yourself from further hurt or pain.  For you see…..we believe (falsely) that the resentment will protect us from the pain of separation and hurt, keep us safe from further hurt and that it will keep us strong, defensive, courageous.

3) At some point, we begin to realize that all the resentment is actually doing is keeping us from healthy intimacy and from knowing love…and from realizing the VERY PAINFUL human truth that in relationship….we will be hurt…..and we will hurt others.  It might just be the nature of the beast.

4) If we want to find healing of the pain of hurt and be open to knowing love and to cultivating healthy intimacy, then at some point, we need to accept the invitation to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a Figure Eight

Once we decide that forgiveness might be the journey on which we want to embark, we are invited to further understand that forgiveness is everything BUT a linear path with a clear destination.  Instead, we are invited to recognize that forgiveness is more like a figure 8 or an infinity symbol, ever looping back and forth over itself in an on-going journey with ever deepening and widening layers.  And it might look something like this:

1) Examine the initial hurt (or hurts), acknowledge the resentment that arose, THEN….look deeper into the hurt, the loss the pain that is hiding behind the resentment.  THEN….GRIEVE IT!  Feel the hurt, feel the loss, feel the separation, then cry, weep, wail and moan.  Let it go.

2) Pray (remember, you are NOT alone in this process)

3)  Now look deeper still….what is YOUR role in the perceived hurt?  What was the deeper emotional wound or spiritual fear that was triggered through the experience – the fear of rejection, the fear that you are not good enough, etc. and where did those wounds come from?  What have you done to heal, release, etc the origin of those wounds (often coming from our childhood.)?

4) Pray some more

5)  Seek out resources to allow for the healing of those deeper wounds and the recent circumstances that triggered them (spiritual direction, counseling, self-help groups, recovery programs, etc.).

6) Pray again

7) Enter into a state of empathetic awareness.  Look at the person who you perceive to have hurt you and look at their deeper wounds.  What might have been the fear, false perception, childhood wound that caused their “hurtful” behavior toward you?  Can you hold them in compassion for their fears?  Can you allow empathetic awareness and compassion to open a space for forgiveness.

8) Pray some more

9) EXAMINE your SHAME.  When we are the recipient or the cause of separation in our intimate human relationships, SHAME naturally arises.  (some might use “guilt” to describe this state)  In this way, shame acts as a red flag alerting us to the fact that something has wounded our drive to pursue and cultivate healthy intimacy with other human beings (this is part of our survival drive).

10) Pray again

11) Open yourself to self-forgiveness, allowing yourself to be healed of the shame that arose out of this separation and brokenness in your relationship.

12) Pray some more

13) Allow for the possibility of forgiveness- of the person you perceive to have hurt you AND of yourself.

14) NOW…START THE WHOLE PROCESS OVER AGAIN….and AGAIN….and AGAIN  and PRAY SOME MORE!

There is a reason that Jesus said, “Forgive 70 times 7 times!”  I don’t think he was issuing a command, but making an observation of the long and arduous road to forgiveness.  And then, we are invited to remember that the moment of TRUE forgiveness is NOT  ours to accomplish, but comes mysteriously, unbidden and as a result of God’s grace and out of God’s infinite (ahem!) love.  Forgiveness is a Figure Eight!

Where are you being invited to enter into the process of forgiveness?

What are some of your deeper fears, unhealed wounds, that may be vulnerable to hurt in the context of relationship?

How can you allow the Divine to assist you in this process of forgiveness?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

The Secret to Love

Sep20

As we grow along the spiritual path, one of the most valuable pieces of insight is around the topic of love.  In today’s blog, learn that insight and begin to take steps toward making it part of your life.

“The secret to a truly loving relationship is the knowledge

that you are love itself.  This discovery will give you the ability

to love in total freedom without fear of loss.

There is no greater joy than this.”

- Isha Lerner

Secrets from Unexpected Places

The above quote showed up in my email basket this morning and upon its receipt I jumped for joy, “I could not have said it better myself.”  In fact, this is the essential truth that is explored in chapter six of Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy (of which I am the author).  And contrary to popular opinion, this IS the secret to a life of deep and abiding love.

Love is NOT outside of us

The popular opinion about love and the perception about love that we are brought up to believe is that love is outside of us and it something that we are supposed to seek, pursue, obtain…and it is only in obtaining the “handsome prince” or “beautiful princess” outside of us that we can ever hope to find happiness.  Well, as you can readily discover from many men and women in mid-life (somewhere around 46), this is a bunch of crap.  Happiness is not to be discovered in “the other” and for those of us who entered into relationship believing this, all we end up with is disappointment and hurt.

The Cold, Hard Truth

The cold, hard truth is that love is not to be found outside of us, but can only be found within.  That does not mean that people are not able to cultivate a relationship that is reflective of a deep and abiding love, but if they have, it is because on some level, they have come to know the love that they are and were one of the lucky ones to find a partner who also knows the love within themselves and together they are able to radiate the mutuality of love.  For the rest of the world, the journey might begin with the shattering of the illusions of fairytale love, disappointment, followed by the long, arduous journey of self-discovery and the opening to self-love.

It Starts at Home

The real work of love starts at home….within our own being.  We need to come to the awareness that we are the very nature of love itself, and we need to be open to knowing and experiencing this love on a very deep level.  As we allow ourselves to be present to the truth of this love, our old wounds are healed and we are transformed into compassionate, joyful, loving and contented beings, grounded and whole in the awareness of who we are and who we are called to be in the world.  When rooted in the awareness of this love, we are no longer tempted to look for love outside of ourselves or to live in the fear of the deprivation of love.  As such, we are able to live and love freely, openly, spontaneously, from our truth, without needing to cling to the fear-driven behaviors of co-dependency, neediness or envy.  From this place, we can be content in aloneness or in mutual partnership if that is what presents itself in our lives.

A Note of Comfort

Yes, this truth about love can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it is only in recognizing this truth that we can ever hope to cultivate healthy, loving intimacy either in the context of a romantic partnership or with our friends and family members.  The comfort is in knowing that as a species we ARE called to be in relationship.  On the spiritual journey, we get to decide what we want those relationships to look like: covetous, jealous, needy, conflictual, painful, harmful or filled with the abundance of joy, mutuality, compassion, understanding, communication, intimacy, peace.  What do you want?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Love Letters from God

Sep7

Yesterday, I gave the following spiritual exercise to a client who is working on trust issues: trusting themselves, trusting others, trusting God.  I have found this exercise to be a powerful tool for opening the heart to love and to the truth of Divine love.  God is loving, kind, gracious….the very essence of love itself…and God loves us beyond what we could ever possibly imagine!  The trick is, can we really, truly, honestly believe in the abundantly flowing love of God?

 

A Spiritual Exercise:

In this exercise, you are invited to read through the scripture passage below.  Then, going back, replace “Jacob” and “Israel” with your own name, then re-read the passage below as if it is a love letter from God written directly to you.  Read through it several times, reflect and meditate on what you read and if you feel called to do so, record your thoughts in a notebook or journal.

But now, thus says the Lord,

who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel:

Fear not for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through water, I will be with you;

In rivers you shall not drown.

When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned;

The flames shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your savior.

I give Egypt as your ransom,

Ethiopia and Seba in return for you.

Because you are precious in my eyes

And glorious

And because I love you.

Isaiah 43: 1-4a

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

Into the Arms of the Beloved

Sep6

Love, relationships, desire, passion….all things that drive the human experience.  How do we stay grounded in wholeness and not get thrown out into the ethers as we try to cultivate healthy, intimate, loving relationships?  I certainly don’t have the answers….but I do know of a spiritual practice that does help us in our quest for love.

 

 

Teaching what I need to Learn

I’m just saying this from the get-go……I know nothing about love.  I used to think I knew everything….then I got married, had joy, suffered loss, struggled, got divorced.  Apparently I didn’t know everything….and there are a billion lessons I have learned being in relationship with one individual for nearly 20 years.  Much of what I learned were all the things I did wrong and all the illusions I brought into the relationship that later proved to be false, along with all my unhealed childhood wounds that probably made an enduring relationship impossible from the start.  And while it is easy to be jaded or disillusioned about partnership, I find I still want healthy intimacy and still long for an enduring partnership.  HHHMMMM   Maybe I’m human.

Human Longing

While it would be really easy to say, “I will just be alone.  I know how to do that and I do it well,” I also recognize that as human beings, we are programmed to be in relationship.  We are a relational species and function best when in partnership and living in community.  So, while there is a profound temptation to escape into the woods into a hermitage all my own, I also recognize that we are all called to partnership and to seek out healthy intimacy.  The problem is that sometimes this longing comes out sideways and compels us into compulsive, co-dependent, addictive, unhealthy behaviors.  This is where spiritual practice becomes all the more necessary and beneficial toward our goal of healthy partnership.

Coming out Sideways

There is one primary fear and its resulting compulsion that drives the “coming out sideways” behaviors of our inborn drive for partnership.  In chapter six of my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, we explore the fear and its compulsion in detail.  In summary….the fear is, I am not loved and the compulsion is Envy.  When we have forgotten that love is our very nature, is who we are and who we are called to be, we seek for love outside ourselves, falsely believing that “that perfect someone” will make us feel whole, complete, loved.  WRONG!  There is nothing outside of us that can do any of these things.  Love, fulfillment, completion, wholeness are inner qualities and can only be found by seeking and journeying inward.  The good news, however, is that as we come to know the love that we are within ourselves, our external, intimate and personal relationships begin to reflect this love.  So in our search for healthy intimacy, the journey starts within!

Seeking and Finding the Beloved – the Practice of Bhakti Yoga

There is a beautiful spiritual practice that comes from the Hindu/Yogic tradition called Bhakti Yoga.  Bhakti yoga is the yoga of devotion, specifically, devotion to the “Beloved” within.  What is amazing to me is that this kind of practice is also present within both the Hebrew and Christian traditions, perhaps less obviously so, but it is there.  In Bhakti yoga, our spiritual practice is given over to rapt attention upon the Divine Beloved that resides within.  One might image the Divine Beloved as any of the Hindu expressions of the Divine – Krishna, Ganesh, Kali, Radha, etc.  In the Christian tradition, Jesus. Mary Magdalene or Mother Mary would be the image, in the Hebrew Tradition – YHWH or his forgotten feminine consort – Asherah.  And what is great about Bhakti practice is that it can take many forms, the focus being attention to the image of the Divine Beloved while engaging in whatever spiritual practice you might feel called to in the moment- Chant, Meditation, Yoga, Creative endeavors, etc.  The goal is to keep your mind fixed upon the image and the idea of the Beloved, allowing one’s self to connect more and more fully with the abundant outpouring of Love embodied by the Beloved and to sink more and more fully into remembering the Love that we are as reflected by the Beloved.  As Bhakti practice unfolds, we eventually find that there is no longer the illusion of separation between ourselves and the Divine Beloved, but that we have become one.  In this space, we remember fully the love that we are and freely and generously live that out in the world and our outward relationships begin to reflect the knowledge of this love.

Shameless Self-Promotion

If you live in the Fox Valley area and are interested in exploring this topic more deeply, I am offering a program, Conquering Co-Dependency and Opening to the Fulfillment of Love on Monday evenings starting on Monday, September 26th.  Just know….this is the teacher teaching what she needs to learn….and we will all be students in this process!

Where are you seeking outside yourself for “the person who will complete me?”

What kind of healthy intimacy do you long for?

How can you begin that search through connecting with the Divine Beloved that resides within?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

http://yourspiritualtruth.com